The missus bought a Paperback ....down town on Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag; ....T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared, The sight filled me with dread?..
In her left she held a rope, And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago, I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well, She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind, Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse, She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet, A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said ......I'm the dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out, My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out, "Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can tell no more, Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned Fifty Shades of Grey.
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."