The wife was in the bathroom getting ready for a night out when she stood in the doorway and said "does my bum look big in this?" so I replied "Yeah, but to be fair love, its a small bathroom"
The wife struttted into the bedroom the other day completely naked after having a shower and said "Close the curtains, I dont want the neighbours to see my naked body"... I said "Dont worry, if they see your naked body they will close their own curtains"
Laying in bed with the wife the other morning and she said "what would you like to do most to my body?"... "identify it" wasnt the answer she expected.
The wife asked me one day "what do you prefer? my sexy body or my sexy voice?" ... "neither" i repllied "your sense of humour"
studies show that you can burn as many calories by running 5 miles as you do during sex.... Who the fook can run 5 miles in 30 seconds?
