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10. Feeling Like You Have Flu Post-Tattoo Session
The bodies natural reaction to the infliction of a huge wound is to pump you full of adrenaline; so when it wears off, you’re left a shivering wreck with chattering teeth, in need of a huge sugary cup of tea. Or a drink. Probably just a drink!
9. “So, Are You A Tattooist?”
It’s astounding how people assume you must actually be a tattooist to have tattoos.
“Are you a hairdresser?” “No, why?” “Oh I just thought, you know, with you having hair and s****…”
8. The Infuriating Choice Of Cover Girls On Modern Tattoo Mags
Tattoo magazines will always have half naked ladies on the cover. Often, their state of undress is to aid the visibility of the tattoos, but, let’s be honest, it’s usually just for boobs. If you pick up any tattoo magazine today you’ll see glamour models stripped to the minimum, often just to show off a tattoo on their ankle.
7. Trying Not To Scratch During The Healing Process
If you refrain from picking scabs, your self-discipline is massively admirable.
6. Going To A Convention And Feeling Like Your Tattoos Are Rubbish Compared To Everyone Else’s
When you’re wandering round a building with the world’s best artists showing off their stuff; it’s hard not to feel like your own tattoos are a bit lame. Oh that on my arm? That’s nothing, nothing at all. Nothing to see Folks!!!!
5. Saying No To Numbing Cream, ‘Cause You’re Totally Not A P****!
And then totally regretting it the moment that tattoo needle starts tickling your rib cage.
4. Knowing Tattooed People Used To Be Like This...
Norman Keith Collins, the legend that is Sailor Jerry, looking effortlessly badass.
3. And Now They’re More Like This...
What 4th dimension of Hell...?
2. Having An Unfinished Tattoo For Years Because You’re Hopelessly Skint
What hurts more: outline or colour? The answer is C… your wallet.
1. “What Are You Going To Do When You’re Old?”
When you get to the age of dentures and diapers, there’s going to be more important things you’re concerned about than what your tattoos make you look like. Your skin may start sagging and that rose may turn into a blancmange but it’ll show the world you’re a hell of a lot more than just a pensioner. Why people ask this question is still completely baffling: it just shows how society still deems tattoos as a ‘non-respectable’ quality, especially on senior citizens.
When it boils down to it, the only difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is this: tattooed people don’t care if you’re not tattooed.